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EVERYTHING KING: I never saw Star Wars, so beam me up Scotty

In this week's column, Wendy makes a brave admission from a galaxy very close to home
2022-05-07 Star Wars
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At the risk of being light-sabered to within an inch of my life, I admit here and now that I have never seen a single Star Wars movie.

Not a smart admission, just a true one.

It came to mind when the movie lovers celebrated their “holiday” last week: May 4.

I was inundated with greetings of 'May the Forth Be With You' and I really wondered why seemingly everyone was so enamoured of this film.

I must have been busy back in 1977 when it came out, because I completely missed the hype.

OK, so maybe "ignored" is a better word. Science fiction just isn't my thing.

The last cute alien who caught my attention was ET, the extra-terrestrial with the glowing finger.

It's not that I didn’t know a few things about Star Wars. I guess I just didn’t delve too deep.

I remember the girl with the side buns in her hair, Princess Leia, but I just thought it was a stupid look.

I know Darth Vader was a scary dude with a really low voice who must have been the villain.

There was a wolfman guy and some robots. One was tall and one was short. Chewbacca, C3PO and R2D2.

Boba Fett? No clue. I thought it was a fancy hunk of cheese.

In researching for this column, I now realize that Star Wars was iconic because it was one of the first major science-fiction movies and it caught the attention of all demographics. It was the classic struggle between good and evil.

With smart marketing, George Lucas merchandised the characters into everything from Hallowe’en costumes to mugs to action figures.

The film was so iconic that lines from it spilled over in the popular lexicon.

Who hasn’t quoted “In a galaxy far, far away," “the evil empire” and “I am your father.”

You can’t ignore its success. There have been 12 Star Wars movies so far.

If you do a Google search, it suggests which ones to watch and in which order.

It has undoubtedly given generations of families great joy, and that’s amazing.

I did a very informal poll thinking I was the only one who had never seen Star Wars, but much to my surprise, there were a lot more of us than I expected. I figured it was one of those unspoken things you just don’t admit to because you will be seen as uncool.

Most of those people were the same as me and just weren’t into that genre. 

Others said they only watched because they had children, at that time, who were interested.

It got me thinking about a lot of classics I have never seen.

People always shake their head at me when I say I have never watched Sound of Music.

The scene of Julie Andrews spinning in the Alps just makes me dizzy. And all those singing children... no thanks!

Another one is It’s a Wonderful Life. I have likely seen parts of it a thousand times, but I’m not sure I have ever watched it all the way through in one sitting. I know it is great acting with a timeless story, but it's also depressing!

This next admission may get me attacked by flying monkeys. I have never seen the entire Wizard of Oz. It is sooooo long. I don’t think I ever made it all the way to the part when Dorothy meets the Wizard. That is a long, painful slog.

I needed to click my own red ruby slippers to escape the tedium.

Many times I have thought I really must sit down and watch these legendary movies, but I never seem to do it.

To quote the oddly coiffed Princess Leia: “I’d just as soon kiss a Wookiee.”

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About the Author: Wendy King

Wendy King writes about all kinds of things from nutrition to the job search from cats to clowns — anything and everything — from the ridiculous to the sublime. Watch for Wendy's column weekly.
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