It's almost wedding time again, and I'm still a sucker for a nice wedding.
I think this is the year for all the COVID-postponed nuptials to finally be conducted.
At the risk of being called out of the loop and uncool and not woke, let me say this is one of the dumbest trends ever: Couples vaping in their wedding pictures.
You can barely see them with all the smoke, but there they all are, the wedding party all decked out, posing while sucking on a vape stick. Charming!
With some 7,000 vape juices on the market, the fun must be never ending.
I have lived through a lot of questionable wedding rituals. I was never a big fan of smashing cake into your loved one’s face. All I could think of was the bride’s beautiful makeup all smeared.
There was also that trashing the dress phase where the bride ran out in the ocean in her gown as it got battered by the waves and the rocks. I don’t think there is anything romantic about pulling seaweed out of some crevasse.
Back in the day, we preserved and framed our wedding dresses.
Unfortunately, some trends remain. Bows are still in vogue.
I wore a lot of bridesmaid’s dresses with a jumbo bow on my butt. Those are still there. They also still put bows on church pews, chairs, bannisters and on cake tables.
And can we ever totally forget being forced to do the chicken dance at every reception? Oh, how the aunts and uncles laughed each time.
According to Elle magazine some traditions are waning.
Your invitation is likely to still come by e-vite as couples choose to save on paper and postage. That’s a good thing for the environment.
The bouquet and garter toss are still happening, but not as often.
Balloon arches are on the way out.
Registering for gifts is a bit passe as newlyweds would rather have your cash than your crystal bowl.
They may even do a GoFundMe for their honeymoon trip or home down payment. Tacky but practical, I suppose.
I understand every ceremony should be personal and individual and as a guest I should just sit there and accept it all with grace. It doesn’t mean I have to like it. Oh, I will smile and nod, even if I have to view the vows through a haze of vapour smelling of grapefruit and lemon.
But the whole time I will be judging and mocking.
“Will the marriage also go up in smoke?”
Will the first song be Smoke Gets In Your Eyes?
I will choke back my tears of disillusionment and wish them well.
